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about

Here's a wonderful piece of wisdom found on a Tombstone at Westminster Abbey, dating back to around 1100 AD (edited for readability):
____

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.

But I found it impossible to change the world. So as a middle aged man, I tried to change my nation.

But I found it impossible to change my nation. So as an old man, I began to focus on my town and family.

But I couldn't change those either.

Now as a man at the end of his life, I realize the only thing I can change is myself. And now I know that if long ago, I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family and town. And together, we could have changed the nation, and ultimately the world.

(Oh, and here's Rumi's much more concise variation on the theme: "Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.")
____

I don't mean to sound cynical, but when I look around me today, it seems like there are only three levels where most people are functioning; in a state of Anger, Fear, or Peaceful Anxiety. Anger and fear are pretty self explanatory. If you feel kicked around by life, these are very logical human responses. The more overwhelmed and mistreated you feel, the more fear or anger you are likely to hold inside. The first 3/4 of my life was at least partially wasted wavering back and forth between these two states. It's not fun; and it certainly isn't healthy.

Now these first two are definitely natural egoic responses to the perceived human condition. We're all trying our best, and it's hard not to take it personally sometimes. But the one that really fascinates me lately is Peaceful Anxiety. This is the category of folks that are trying their hardest to be happy, or at least to be at peace; and life sometimes feels like a wall of obstacles designed to challenge your very ability to do this.

Every one of us wants to be happy and experience love, and we want the same for everyone else. And ultimately we just want to live in a world that supports these ideals. From what we've all seen, this is a long way from being a reality. Therein lies the 'Anxiety' portion of the equation; wanting things to be something other than what they are.

The quote from the headstone above was a big wake-up call for me. I had an opportunity to stop and check on my perspective. Maybe it isn't about fixing everyone else. Maybe it's not about making the world see and respect your perspective. Maybe it's about living the best life you can possibly live, being the best person you can possibly be... and letting the rest of the pieces fall where they may. I know that might sound ultra-challenging, but maybe we're not here to change the world. Maybe changing ourselves is where it's at. Maybe we fix things from the inside out, and the rest just sorts itself out along the way. Just a little something to think about. I hope you enjoy my latest creation, 'Peaceful Anxiety'. :)

(Oh, and this is one of my earlier paintings; a very traditional palette of oils on a nice big 30"x36" canvas... painted in 2007. It fit so well.)

credits

from The Great Divide (Album: 03​/​2021), track released August 3, 2019

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GrevusAnjl

Welcome to my sonic playground. I don't consider myself a skilled musician. I just sculpt sounds to quiet my mind... and often end up pleasantly surprised. I'm all about joy, and silliness, and staying playful as I (refuse to) grow older. My songs help me remember that. :)

Thank you for taking the time to listen and share in my journey. Best wishes and all my love.

- Justin ... more

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