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about

Many years ago (at the age of 21), I started dating this really cool girl. A few weeks into the relationship, I naturally wanted her to know me better, so I decided to share one of my favorite hobbies. One evening, with precision gaming Fung Shui, I configured the dining room table for an optimized evening of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons; and I began an adventure for her and a few of our friends. I thought it was going well. But unfortunately, after a few sessions, she indicated she wasn’t too hip on my ’mind-numbingly tedious, micro-rules’ play-style (apparently not all people enjoy having the spontaneity squeezed out of an exciting moment, while the Dungeon Master rummages through the rulebooks). It was a hard lesson to learn. My ability to quickly find gaming rules, and love of the nano-details was not as fascinating (or sexy) as I first imagined.

Fast forward 30 years. That girl (despite having a great deal of common sense), is still sitting by my side. And although I was never able to amaze her with the ‘pen and paper’ world of gaming (a hobby that now resides exclusively with our oldest daughter); we both love geeking out over the latest video games. I’ll take that. :D

Interestingly though… one D&D concept stuck. And she recently told me she uses this in real life… and on a regular basis. It is the idea of ‘disbelieving’, as a conscious action (choosing to see past the illusion before you). Seems like a strange idea, I know. But in a fantasy world, that’s how you get past the illusionary dragon guarding the treasure; or avoid the siren song lulling you to your doom.

And ya know what? She’s right. Disbelief is actually a cleverly disguised life practice awaiting our usage.

Am I suggesting we can disbelieve ourselves right out of the visible illusion? Pop from the Holo-Deck? Probably not (but I’m not sure about that yet). One thing we can do is disbelieve that it has to be this way; that we have to be this way.

Navigating this life requires a certain willingness to commit to the agreed upon illusion. Every day, we wake up into this man-made idea (and lets face it, this really is the product of men, not women). Every day, we watch our fears grow… “I gotta secure mine. Cuz there isn’t enough to go around”. We find ourselves fighting over the strangest of things (see: COVID Toilet Paper Days). And depending on which side of the fence you occupy, it is absolutely undeniable… the other side is out of their minds, and entirely to blame. It’s a mighty convincing illusion; and I honestly spend way too much time lost in it.

But that’s just it. I’m tired of being lost in the illusion. Believing in the current illusion requires a strong investment in fear. And I don’t have the strength for that anymore. I suspect many of you feel the same way. So for just a moment (or perhaps 24 hours a day) play around with the idea of disbelieving this is all there is. Disbelieving is a great way to see past the illusion. And when the dragon disappears… we can finally get to the treasure.

I hope you enjoy my latest musical effort, ‘I Disbelieve’. :)

credits

from Vox Populi (Album: 08​/​2022), track released August 10, 2021

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GrevusAnjl

Welcome to my sonic playground. I don't consider myself a skilled musician. I just sculpt sounds to quiet my mind... and often end up pleasantly surprised. I'm all about joy, and silliness, and staying playful as I (refuse to) grow older. My songs help me remember that. :)

Thank you for taking the time to listen and share in my journey. Best wishes and all my love.

- Justin
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